


Let's Talk Logistics

by misura



Category: Hancock (2008)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-02-16 00:47:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13043022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: "Bad idea," Hancock said.





	Let's Talk Logistics

**Author's Note:**

  * For [failsafe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/failsafe/gifts).



"Bad idea," Hancock said. "Seriously. Also, costume notwithstanding, I ain't no homo."

Mary rolled her eyes. Ray sighed. "Look," he said, "would it make you feel better if I said it first? I will. I'm a homo sapiens, and I love you. Both of you."

"What the - " Hancock said.

"Now you. Go on," Ray said. "You can do it. Say 'My name is Hancock, and I'm an alien, and I love you, too, Ray. Mary.' Or, you know, Mary, Ray. Whatever. Order isn't important. I'm not an insecure guy. You want to put Mary's name first, that's cool. I'm not going to be reading anything into that. At all."

Mary put her arms around him. Ray tried not to remember what he'd seen her do to a bag of microwave popcorn just by holding her hand over it. (He was sure that bag had had it coming.)

"Or, if you want to use your real names, that's cool, too. I mean, I admit it, I'm kind of curious about those. Not - you know, in a needy way or anything, but, you know, if you want to share, I'm here."

"Yeah," Hancock said. "About that whole sharing idea."

"Oh, stop being such a baby," Mary said, leaning in closer so that he breath was tickling Ray's ear. It didn't hurt or anything. Still, Ray had seen her toss a couple of cars up into the air just by blowing at them, so ... some mixed feelings. Or nervous feelings, really.

Which was not to say he thought she'd ever hurt him on purpose. Or Hancock, for that matter.

Still, accidents happened.

"Woman, I'm as old as you are," Hancock said. "And I'm telling you right here, right now, that the only people I ever got up, close and personal with? All female."

"Ray's special," Mary said.

"No, I'm not," Ray said. "I mean, yes, I am, in the sense that I'm the luckiest son of a bitch alive, because of you two and because I have the greatest kid anyone could wish for, but me? I'm just an ordinary guy, living an ordinary life, trying to do my bit to make this world a better place."

Mary licked his ear. "Special," she repeated.

"It's not you," Hancock said. "It's me."

"Bullshit," Ray said. "Although hey, good on you for not saying it's her. That's some progress right there, right? No more millions of property damage because the two of you still have to work through some issues. That's good. That's real good."

Hancock looked at Mary. Ray couldn't see her face, but he figured she looked back. She was very direct that way, was Mary. She'd been direct when she'd asked him out on a date, too, and then later, when he'd figured he'd best play it safe, take it slow.

"Oh, fuck me," Hancock said.

"That's the plan, you idiot," Mary said. "Unless you'd rather waste some more time talking about how totally straight you are and how you've never ever - "

"I haven't!" Hancock sounded offended. Mostly offended. Ray thought he also detected a hint of uncertainty. Just a hint, mind. "Have I?"

Mary rolled her eyes again.

"Does it matter?" Ray asked. "I mean, does it _really_ matter? In the larger scheme of things, is it important?"

"Look," Hancock said, "I've put a guy's head up another guy's ass, all right? More than once. And trust me when I say that was not fun for either of them. So I'm just saying - what I'm trying to say here is - "

"You're bottoming," Ray said. "Or giving me a hand job, or a blow job, or whatever. I'm not picky, okay? I love you. That's all that matters. Sex - sex is just sex, right? Physical. But what I feel inside - what _you_ feel inside, _that's_ what's important."

Hancock looked at him. Ray tried to offer him a reassuring smile. It helped that he'd never seen Hancock shoot laser beams from his eyes or something. Hancock was just strong and he could fly, that was all. No biggie.

"Fine," Hancock said. "Let's do this."

"Just - " Ray said. "You break the bed - either of you, you not only pay for a new one, you also get it up here. Without taking the roof off or anything. Everyone okay with that?"

He guessed they were.


End file.
